Do you SEE this thing I’m holding?

Let’s talk about the phone. I’m thinkin’ I’d like to talk about it since I can’t actually talk ON it. Kids and phones are just disaster. First, there’s the fact that I can never actually find the time to be on the phone. Since we home school my three kids are with me all day. But if I ever do think I can steal a few moments to make a call, the “kid radar” goes off no matter where they are. They could be at the neighbor’s house and somehow know I have just gotten on the phone, which means it’s definitely the time to walk directly up to me and talk as though I’m actually doing nothing at all. And it’s usually to ask for something ridiculous like a snack, even though they just had one, or a toy you haven’t seen in decades that they think for some reason you know where it is. Sometimes, I like to live on the edge. I take the risk and answer the phone, or make a quick call. That’s when they know it’s the perfect opportunity to jump off furniture, or scream and wrestle each other down over whose Matchbox car it is. Some might say just tell them to be quiet, but it doesn’t work. Those words really have no meaning at all once you are on the phone. THEY KNOW….

And how about kids talking on the phone? They always want to play with the phone, but then when you give them the opportunity, like with grandma, they forget how to talk. Or even worse, they mumble unintelligibly about who knows what making the person on the other end uncomfortable and in the end I don’t know either what they are saying! I usually just stop them mid sentence and tell them, “Say bye!” And now it’s my turn to say Buh-bye.

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