The Absent Minded Mom

Is it me, or do all moms race through the day thinking they are handling things pretty well, only to be slapped in the face by the reality that if anyone actually kept track they would be found completely incompetent? Take last week. J.R. was out of town, so I admit, I had a larger load than usual, but I’m not so certain that was it. In any case, here are some of my not-so-shining moments:

1. Found the missing salt in the refrigerator.
2. Took the boys to gymnastics only to realize they were in their jeans.
3. Forgot A’s doctor’s appointment.
4. Bought both boys new sneakers with laces (of which neither of them can tie).
5. Discovered blood smack-dab on the chest of my white shirt in the restroom while Mia was in speech therapy.
6. Left the gas burner on Lo for about 4 hours until the next meal.

And if that wasn’t enough, today, I had A’s Education Specialist conference (she checks our home school work) and totally forgot his Math workbook, which has all the worksheets he’s done all year. AND I left my purse out in the waiting room the whole time, not even realizing it until I reached the van and went for my keys. I think I need a break, or maybe an assistant!

Famous People

One of the realities of adopted children is that they are often at a much younger age emotionally than chronologically. This is true for Pia, whom although she is going on 10, is still figuring out that people in books and cartoons are not actually real, and that actors are real people playing other people. Living within driving distance to Hollywood has helped these discussions, which actually started a couple years ago when somehow my kids had the impression that everyone they saw on TV was dead. So in our house we cannot watch anything without the question being asked, “Is he dead?” At first it was really annoying, but now we just laugh about it. So the other day while watching Dr. Doolittle, the old one with Rex Harrison (the same actor that’s in My Fair Lady, a truly amazing fact in our household now), the inevitable discussion about who was dead came up. Pia must have already had this conversation with her dad, because after I said I did not know if Rex Harrison was dead, she informed me that another character on the screen indeed WAS dead and that her dad had told her this fact. When I questioned how he knew, I had to laugh when she pointed her finger at me and said, “Well, I don’t know mom…..you have to go and look online….on famous people.com.” Okay then. I think she’s got it!

Why Mom’s Are Late

Today I learned that you NEVER try to leave for an appointment with no time to spare because there’s no doubt someone will drop a miniscule item on the way into the car, such as a tiny Transformer arm, and then not be able to find it.  It will somehow disappear into an abyss and the child will have a mental breakdown if he isn’t allowed to find it before we leave, refusing to get in the car. He will instead insist on continuing to look for the item despite desperate pleas to just get in the car, or reasoning that we are going to be late and can look for it later. He will completely tune you out, while his search will include having to go back into the house to retrace all of his steps in case he actually dropped it on the way to the car.  He will appear as though his very life depended on him finding this piece, until finally I’m crawling on the floor of the van looking for it myself!

The Forbidden Tree

There’s a tree in our back yard, right at the back of the fence that has branches hanging into the neighbor’s yard behind us.  The fence is high, about 6ft. I think and we cannot see over it, or through it.  It’s a great enclosure for the kids and Boz.  The kids keep insisting on climbing this tree even though we have told them over and over not to.  Not because we want to deprive them of their God-given ability to climb trees (they are kids after-all), but they go up too high and can’t get down, or worse yet, just tumble right out of it.  Also, because of the lack of rain it makes the tree branches weak and they break off very easily from the weight of even a small child. So this tree has become “off limits” for the kids.  And this has become an impossible direction to follow!  My youngest son Z, who is 4, absolutely cannot stay out of this tree!! And today we reached a new level of disobedience when my husband caught him hanging from very high up in the tree, over into the neighbors yard, calling out to whoever it was he could see!  A little funny, actually, but it won’t be when he falls out of the tree into the neighbor’s yard, and has no idea how to get back to us. I will then have to walk all the way around to the street behind us and go get him! I can see this inevitably is going to happen….So who wants to take bets on how long it will be til it does??

I Am “The Stuff Holder”

When I decided to become a mom, I had no idea I had also signed up to be everyone’s “stuff holder.”  It didn’t happen immediately, but more a gradual thing.  Like today in church, as my husband handed me his bulletin to hold, when I already had my own bulletin, I very willingly took it.  Then, as if I had had a severe allergic reaction to it, I swiftly chucked it back at him saying, “I don’t want this! And when did I become the “stuff holder” for everybody?”  Everywhere we go, my kids insist on bringing nonsense items, toys, gadgets, and seemingly important documents from their inane activities throughout the day, and inevitably they end up handing them to ME when something far more exciting or interesting captures their interest.  And I’m just as much to blame…I take whatever it is and dutifully jam it in my purse, until finally my large black sack of leather is weighing down one side of me as though I have some kind of spinal injury. Well, today I declare I am no longer the “stuff holder!” No more will I accept Matchbox cars, flimsy Sunday school crafts, and already chewed gum.  No more used Kleenex’s, McDonald’s Happy Meal toys and American Girl doll accessories.  I’m done…finished, that’s it….so kid’s, don’t even think about handing me those Lego’s!